Once you see that positive test, people tell you there’s no longer any ”you” time and that it’ll take its toll on your relationship.
I do have to admit the newborn days are hard, the lack of sleep and exhaustion does take a toll. But it also brings you together, of course you’ll bicker but usually it’ll be over the smallest and most ridiculous things you can imagine. As I’m sure the lack of sleep does send you crazy. But you will get through it and months down the line it’ll be a distant memory.
I still remember our first date after having Archie, as selfish as it sounds I left him with a family member when he was eight days old. It was strange leaving him for the first time, even though I was on a date I was constantly checking my phone incase something had happened. But I had to remind myself it was my birthday and I did deserve to have a few drinks and enjoy myself. As I would have the entire afternoon and night to spend with him. But still I couldn’t resist thinking about him, talking about him and checking my phone. And in that moment I realised even when we had “us” time, Archie would still be the focus.
The second date night was different, I had more time to reflect and it was Archie’s first sleepover. It was my first night out, however it was a complete change to what I considered a night out. Firstly I felt like I was dressed like a Mum, I was wearing jeans and a top. In the past I would have worn a dress or skirt however I felt a massive loss in confidence. Secondly it was a change where we went, usually I would happily go in clubs and dance the night away but instead we chose to go round a few pubs and chat the night away. Even though it was a massive change, I enjoyed spending a few quiet moments with Alex.
I will always believe it’s important to have some “you” time as a couple. You aren’t being selfish by choosing to have some time as a couple, before the baby it was just you two and once they grow up it will be you two again. So it is important to make time for you as a couple even if it’s as little as 20 minutes.
There have been times when me and alex have had a full night off, managed to have a meal, few drinks and have a date night like the old times. There have also been times where we only have 20 minutes and have had to make do with a fleeting coffee date. No matter what we do we treasure those few moments where it is just us.
